January 2019 Writing Challenges: #WritingtheSenses Challenge Week 3

So yesterday was the beginning of week three of my challenge. I'm now focusing on taking those sketches from last week and putting them into rough draft format. Head's up, though...I already wrote my rough draft so it's more like sharing something I've already written down this week. I hope my awful rough draft snippets will encourage more of you, knowing if you feel your work doesn't measure up, you are not alone. As such, this will be a post of lengthy nature.

#WritingtheSenses Challenge Week 3

Day 15 -

Zec waited too long to begin and she said, “If you’re better now, I can show you another place I like to go.” No request for him to continue. No urging to bare his soul.

He stared at her a long time before he stood. She smiled again and chattered on. “The way isn’t quite as slippery as the path we took to get here. If you’re worried, just let me know.” It galled him to be reliant on a younger person but he gritted his teeth and tagged along.

Zec was forced to admit one thing, though. Liha was quite possibly the prettiest being he’d ever seen. She was certainly the brightest. Her golden hair, skin, and eyes shone like the suns. It was almost painful to look at her, bathed as she was in Tsifi’Ra and Mit’Ra’s rays.

She led him down a path which passed into lush cover. “These are achich trees,” she chattered. “During Dishi, the leaves fade to gray-white. When the winds shake the branches, it looks like an ice storm.” The reaching branches edged the verges, so close the light dimmed to golden green. “And these are orbana.” She pointed at shrubs dotted with dainty white blossoms nestled at the feet of the achich. The blooms seemed to light the path with a soft glow making the place feel even more mystical. And everywhere was the music of water — from laughing streamlets to roaring falls. Zec had never experienced anything so strange or so beautiful in all his sun-cycles.

The end of the verdant tunnel opened into a brightly lit clearing loosely paved with stones like those used for the bench. One of the wider streamlets whispered and flowed through the center. She pointed him toward a simple bridge. Upon closer inspection, the craftsmanship became apparent. Shiny green-black absin stones arched gently from one bank to the other. Teardrop-shaped finials topped four short posts which were carved with abundant floral filigree. A square gazebo topped with a sweeping roof waited for them on the far side, perched at the edge of the stream. Golden tassels decorated each of the up-turned corners. A wind-catcher tingled in the light breeze while a light-catcher hanging from the opposite side sparkled. Liha beckoned Zec inside and he stood in the center. What he should do now, he wasn’t sure. There was only one bench and it lay along the wall closest to the water.

Day 16 - OK, so this isn't the best work I've ever done but I like the setup of this opening scene. It still needs a ton of work, even though I may have actually revised this one twice already. And for those who worry about such things, there's always going to be a pronunciation guide, glossary, and index in each of my books, even though I think if you really read the work, the meaning of the new words are made fairly clear by the context clues. If this isn't so, please let me know because that's one of my goals.

A mewling cry pierced the air in the grotto. The light of the five moons sifted through the iwista trees clinging to the steep, rocky walls. Together they painted misshapen fingers of shadow and light across the boulder-strewn floor of the grotto. A young woman writhed on a patch of soft yellow mazh bathed in a stray moonbeam and wailed once again. The midiva and a Genzetti couple were the only witnesses to her struggle. The latter had sworn to adopt the infant should its imi’I breathe her last.

“The infant is being difficult. It isn’t turned properly.” The old midwife grimaced in concentration as her hands set to work. “Steady breaths now. Find your rhythm.” Her gravely voice trailed off as she turned the entirety of her focus back to the task at hand.

“By Andurdrao! Was a birthing ever so hard?” Ren Inessi clasped the woman’s hand.

“O’boer,” whispered the woman through tears, “do you remember your promise?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I’d forgotten it.”

“No.” Her tired smile faded as another pain hit. She hissed and keened. When it passed, she could barely catch her breath. She murmured a weak thanks.

“I will always help my family. Family is always first. Family is most important.” He enunciated each word, making sure she heard the reverence in his tone.

Day 17 - This is so short compared to the other pieces but my taste descriptions are all spread out. This was the most descriptive snippet and I have to admit, it's sadly lacking. More to work with next week!

Taste sketches were a challenge to create but writing a scene that involves them seems like it would be easier. I hope that's the case when you read my offering for today. One of my favorite posts in an IG writing challenge asked us to put our characters in a cooking show of our choice. It was so much fun! I got to incorporate a dish from my rough draft into the challenge and make up a couple others that I may be able to insert into the story somewhere along the way. Towering Floryl seems like it would be the most challenging to make but I'd love to give it a try. It's not in the story yet but it appeared when I accepted that long-ago challenge.

Liha paused to take a bit of her geshiju, a berry pudding baked in a crust. She savored every bite. It was one of her favorite dishes. “Remind me to tell the cook the geshiju is delicious today.” She swallowed a gulp of khaf’ket imported from the Ikhel-dur. The thick, creamy brew shared its warmth with her, doing even more to improve her spirits. “He talks about some of the places he’s visited sometimes. But he doesn’t say much more about Genzet, at least, nothing that seems important.”

Haya Ne had chosen a simple flat bread spread with sweet hahne’en from M’Neshunnaya.

Day 18 - This one was probably the hardest challenge this week. I thought it was going to be Day 17 but I think I was wrong. It certainly wouldn't be the first time. I'm into music and art so sound and sights are things I gravitate to. But scents can be nostalgic for me and one of the interesting things is, they'll cue songs in my memory. My life might be a running soundtrack...

I had a really hard time finding scent related scenes in my rough draft. I guess because my nose is constantly stopped up, scents aren't going to be the first thing that inspires me. LOL I managed to find this one and was able to work in some rudimentary scent descriptions. It'll be interesting to see how the final manuscript turns out.

"One corner of her lips rose in a crooked grin. It had long ago passed for cute. Now it settled at the edge of menacing. But there was no one to see it, no one to judge. And even if there was, who was she to care about what outsiders thought. She had spent most of her life forging her own path. If she had listened to the jibes and criticisms of those around her, she’d be back home in Masori Cavern, serving the lowest ranking Master by doing the most menial jobs that person could think of. Her grin turned into a feral smile, fangs fully bared. She had shown them all what sheer determination and belief in oneself could achieve. But choosing this path didn’t mean she had to let go of her spiritual beliefs.